BE Jokes

A case of PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair)? Tell us about your war stories!
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PID_Stop
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by PID_Stop » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:25 am

Muadeeb wrote:This is why my EAS mail goes to a subfolder on my mail. I can still get to it, but it doesn't set off the phone.
So does mine... but my phone is just enough faster than Outlook that I get the dings anyway, with just enough time to see the newly arrived emails disappear from my phone's inbox.

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NECRAT
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by NECRAT » Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:27 pm

PID_Stop wrote:
Muadeeb wrote:This is why my EAS mail goes to a subfolder on my mail. I can still get to it, but it doesn't set off the phone.
So does mine... but my phone is just enough faster than Outlook that I get the dings anyway, with just enough time to see the newly arrived emails disappear from my phone's inbox.
These last few jokes weren't very funny....
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"Arguing with an engineer is like mud wrestling with a pig. After a couple of hours, you realize the pig likes it"

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PID_Stop
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by PID_Stop » Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:46 pm

NECRAT wrote:These last few jokes weren't very funny....
Sorry... maybe two true stories about station tours will bring the level back within tolerance.

A group of Cub Scouts was getting the "Here's the Control Room!" speech from the secretary who normally handled tours at the time. I sat at the master control switcher and tried to keep a straight face through the spiel, which included a dissertation on how the Ampex quad machines let us play film on the air. Finally one of the boys pointed at the TFT modulation monitor with its flashing Nixie tube readout and wanted to know what it was. "Why, that's how many people are watching the station," she told him -- just as the readout went to 000,000.

:shock:

I finally spoke up and told him she was pulling his leg, and that it's really how accurately tuned our transmitter is, and we want it to be as close to zero as possible. Managed to keep the secretary from looking like a total idiot, which she greatly appreciated -- apparently one of the other engineers, with whom she had some long-standing feud, gave her that tidbit of misinformation.


About ten years later I was working on a camera control unit (on my back under a counter) when a group of junior high girls came through. The video operator gave his spiel about how he tunes satellite feeds and records shows like Oprah. The girls completely tuned out when they realized that Oprah was in Chicago and not Syracuse, and they weren't going to meet her after all, but our guy delivered the whole load, and finished up by asking if anyone had questions. After an awkward silence one of the teachers finally asked, "What kind of preparation do you need to work here?"

"H", he replied.

I started laughing, which completely freaked out the girls -- they hadn't noticed me on the floor or my open toolbox or the GE manuals or the oscilloscope I was using until my outburst. The group thereupon made an incredibly rapid exit. So far as I can tell, nobody else got it...

-- Jeff

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NECRAT
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by NECRAT » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:34 pm

PID_Stop wrote:
NECRAT wrote:These last few jokes weren't very funny....
Sorry... maybe two true stories about station tours will bring the level back within tolerance.
Oh sorry, I was just being a pain in the ass, because this thread, which wasn't too serious to being with, had derailed so badly.

I thought it would be funny to insert that line, is all.
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"Arguing with an engineer is like mud wrestling with a pig. After a couple of hours, you realize the pig likes it"

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PID_Stop
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by PID_Stop » Fri Jan 04, 2013 9:01 am

NECRAT wrote:Oh sorry, I was just being a pain in the ass, because this thread, which wasn't too serious to being with, had derailed so badly. I thought it would be funny to insert that line, is all.
Actually, it did make me chuckle because you were right.

So... how many engineers does it take to fix a bad vertical LNB on the ABC main dish?

None -- because the news people who have been missing a feed for the last two weeks only complain to each other but don't tell Engineering there's a problem.

:roll:

Sorry, that's not really funny either... but that's what I got hit with this morning. Grrrrrrr.

-- Jeff

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Re: BE Jokes

Post by NECRAT » Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:31 pm

PID_Stop wrote: So... how many engineers does it take to fix a bad vertical LNB on the ABC main dish?

None -- because the news people who have been missing a feed for the last two weeks only complain to each other but don't tell Engineering there's a problem.

:roll:

Sorry, that's not really funny either... but that's what I got hit with this morning. Grrrrrrr.
Don't you love that. "Why is this broken?" ., "oh it's always been like that". And its usually a $30 part I can get the next day to fix too...
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jantonuk
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by jantonuk » Fri Sep 25, 2015 3:13 pm

Dear Abby,
I have met the most wonderful girl in the world.
We get along great.
She doesn't mind that my father is in jail for bank robbery.
It is no problem for her that my mother is a dipsomaniac.
The 'love for money' activities of my sister don't seem to phase her in the least.

I really love this girl and I don't want to lose her.
The big problem is....

How do I tell her that my brother is a radio station engineer?!?

signed,
lover with a secret ;)

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Shane
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Shane » Sat Sep 26, 2015 9:43 am

I've heard the "we're taught to not pee on our hands" joke with branches of the armed services. Usually whichever branch the person telling the joke served is the one teaching the correct way to pee. :)
Mike Shane, CBRE
---Omaha---

COMMENG
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by COMMENG » Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:41 am

jantonuk wrote:Dear Abby,
I have met the most wonderful girl in the world.
We get along great.
She doesn't mind that my father is in jail for bank robbery.
It is no problem for her that my mother is a dipsomaniac.
The 'love for money' activities of my sister don't seem to phase her in the least.

I really love this girl and I don't want to lose her.
The big problem is....

How do I tell her that my brother is a radio station engineer?!?

signed,
lover with a secret ;)

Now that is good..... :mrgreen:

COMMENG

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radiowave911
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by radiowave911 » Mon Oct 12, 2015 3:45 pm

Koredump wrote:
Chris from Milwaukee wrote:Three Broadcast Engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Clear Channel, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second Broadcast Engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Saga, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third Broadcast Engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Entercom, we don't pee on our hands."
I heard that one as a Duke, NCSU, Geogia Tech engineer joke :)
I heard it in a military context - Army, Marines and Air Force, IIRC...
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

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radiowave911
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by radiowave911 » Mon Oct 12, 2015 3:51 pm

What do you call the engineer across the final output?

Dummy load.
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

http://www.wmssfm.com
http://www.sbe41.org
http://halloweenhauntings.org

sallen
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by sallen » Sat Nov 07, 2015 11:58 am

What gets smaller as an engineer gets Older?

Usable rack space.

Abbey Normel
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Abbey Normel » Sat Dec 19, 2015 8:57 am

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

The service wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Think about it.... :shock:

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