BE Jokes

A case of PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair)? Tell us about your war stories!
jdmickies
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BE Jokes

Post by jdmickies » Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:17 pm

I saw an email about 10 years ago of a bunch of engineer jokes. I'd like to start a list of ones here. The only two I can remember are:

What's the difference between and introverted and extroverted engineer?
The extroverted one stares at your shoes.

How do you torture an engineer?
Gaff tape him to a chair with his eyelids taped open, stand in front of him, and refold a map incorrectly.



They may be lame, but it's a start...

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Sam Buca
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Sam Buca » Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:24 am

jdmickies wrote:How do you torture an engineer?
Gaff tape him to a chair with his eyelids taped open, stand in front of him, and refold a map incorrectly.
FOLD the maps?? Nooooooo. We ROLL the maps. No creases.

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NECRAT
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by NECRAT » Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:41 am

An engineer was walking down the street and runs across another engineer friend of his riding a new bike, he asks the engineer where he got it.

The engineer says "well yesterday, I was walking minding my own buisness when this gorgeous woman came up upon me, got off the new bike, ripped off all her clothes and said 'take what you want' "

The first engineer says "Ah good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you"

---

What's the difference between a structural engineer and a broadcast engineer?
The structural engineer makes the tower, the broadcast engineer makes the tower work...

---
How do you spot the Broadcast Engineer on the Empire State Building observation deck?
Theyre the only ones looking UP!

---

You know you're a broadcast engineer if....

You've pointed out a radio tower to a date before.

You have radio presets that have nothing to do with stations you like.
(i.e. one is a station which leases on your tower, you have it in to see if there is power or not, one is a open frequency for DX., etc)

People don't like to watch tv with you when you continually point out very minor errors in the picture.

You have more pictures of towers than family.

You know where such landmarks such as "South Mountain", "Black Mountain", "Cedar Hill", "Sandria Crest", "Mt Wilson", "Roxborough Farm" are, and bonus points if youve taken trips to specifically see them.
http://www.necrat.us

"Arguing with an engineer is like mud wrestling with a pig. After a couple of hours, you realize the pig likes it"

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Chris from Milwaukee
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Chris from Milwaukee » Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:41 pm

Three Broadcast Engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Clear Channel, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second Broadcast Engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Saga, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third Broadcast Engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Entercom, we don't pee on our hands."
Chris from Milwaukee
Feeding Broadcast Engineers Worldwide
(And transmitter salesmen too!)

eadler
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by eadler » Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:52 pm

NECRAT wrote:You know where such landmarks such as "South Mountain", "Black Mountain", "Cedar Hill", "Sandria Crest", "Mt Wilson", "Roxborough Farm" are, and bonus points if youve taken trips to specifically see them.
So have you been to all of them? 8)
Eric "tonsofpcs" Adler
http://www.videoproductionsupport.com/
Twitter: @eric_adler

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NECRAT
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by NECRAT » Mon Nov 30, 2009 6:57 pm

eadler wrote:
NECRAT wrote:You know where such landmarks such as "South Mountain", "Black Mountain", "Cedar Hill", "Sandria Crest", "Mt Wilson", "Roxborough Farm" are, and bonus points if youve taken trips to specifically see them.
So have you been to all of them? 8)
Not yet. In fact I haven't been to any of them....
http://www.necrat.us

"Arguing with an engineer is like mud wrestling with a pig. After a couple of hours, you realize the pig likes it"

w9wi
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by w9wi » Wed Dec 02, 2009 8:51 am

NECRAT wrote:
eadler wrote:
NECRAT wrote:You know where such landmarks such as "South Mountain", "Black Mountain", "Cedar Hill", "Sandria Crest", "Mt Wilson", "Roxborough Farm" are, and bonus points if youve taken trips to specifically see them.
So have you been to all of them? 8)
Not yet. In fact I haven't been to any of them....
Haven't been to any of the above spots but I can claim:
- Deer Point (Boise)
- Cavanal Mountain (Fort Smith, Ark.)
- Mount Washington (though I suppose that doesn't count)
- Sharp's Ridge (Knoxville)
- Meadowlands (NYC, AM)
- Mt. Sutro (San Francisco) (maybe doesn't count for same reason as Mt. Washington)
- Rib Mountain (Wausau)

I think I deserve half-bonus points for Deer Point, Cavanal Mountain, and Sharp's Ridge as while I was in town for another reason, went out of my way to reach the sites. Meadowlands are worth a full bonus point.

Guess that makes 9.5 points.
--
Doug Smith W9WI
Pleasant View, TN EM66

Koredump
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Koredump » Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:32 pm

Chris from Milwaukee wrote:Three Broadcast Engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Clear Channel, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second Broadcast Engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Saga, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third Broadcast Engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Entercom, we don't pee on our hands."
I heard that one as a Duke, NCSU, Geogia Tech engineer joke :)

Kent T
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Kent T » Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:37 pm

You might just be a broadcast engineer if. You are on vacation, and the first thing you visit is transmitter sites. If you can point out the wiring errors in the hotel TV and routers. If your home page is necrat.us. If the first place you took your date to is a transmitter site.

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KPJL FM
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by KPJL FM » Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:59 am

You know you've been an engineer too long when your wife answers the phone at 1am and hands it to you, saying "it's your girfriend", because it's the Burk remote control calling with a fault alarm.

She also knows that's your only girlfriend, and you're lucky you got married in the first place. :D
Trim to fit, paint to match, tune for minimum smoke.

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PID_Stop
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by PID_Stop » Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:20 pm

You've been a broadcast engineer for a while when your iPhone does the email ding....... ding........ pause for a minute....... ding -- and you know without even looking that it's your ENDEC relaying something. Except in my case, I have six ENDECs around the state sending me email, so storms tend to provoke more of a dingdingdingdingding...... dingdingdingdingding......

A not-so-wonderful reminder of the days of five-bell and ten-bell messages on the AP and UPI wires... :shock:

-- Jeff

Kent T
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Kent T » Fri Dec 28, 2012 8:29 am

Indeed, wish that the new AP web app would revive the bell system once more. It is useful for operators about impending important news stories in live and live assist operations.

Conelrad
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Conelrad » Fri Dec 28, 2012 12:04 pm

Two broadcast engineers were arrested whilst having a knock down-drag out fight in a bar.

When brought before a judge, he asked what is was all about.

They answered "It was about whether pin 2 or 3 was hot on an XLR connector".

Dennis

chrish
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by chrish » Fri Dec 28, 2012 11:37 pm

The XLR pin out controversy was something I never thought about until the audio difference was demonstrated by Jack Williams PR&E founder himself. He had PR&E send out a paper on this to all customers, he said unfortunaterly
like transmitter service bulletins many engineers gave it no attention and the info was put in a pile of paperwork. He did the demonstration with two Denon CD players using the same song in each, one using pin 2 hot and the other using
pin 3 hot into our BMX-III. Difference was frightening, pin 2 hot the Japanese standard is correct. Try it yourself with an EV RE-20 you'll be amazed.

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Muadeeb
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Re: BE Jokes

Post by Muadeeb » Tue Jan 01, 2013 12:32 am

PID_Stop wrote:You've been a broadcast engineer for a while when your iPhone does the email ding....... ding........ pause for a minute....... ding -- and you know without even looking that it's your ENDEC relaying something. Except in my case, I have six ENDECs around the state sending me email, so storms tend to provoke more of a dingdingdingdingding...... dingdingdingdingding......

A not-so-wonderful reminder of the days of five-bell and ten-bell messages on the AP and UPI wires... :shock:

-- Jeff
This is why my EAS mail goes to a subfolder on my mail. I can still get to it, but it doesn't set off the phone.
Procrastination I can totally do. I'm good at it, I have a black belt in procrastination, it's an art form for me, I'm the absolute King of, well, I'll finish this thought la

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